ask jeeves!!

once upon a time....er..not that long ago, but this story did take place at a time when i used to think hrithik was god. one cozy lil afternoon, me at my friend's place. we were all alone...er, i mean we were left to be alone to ourselves. ourselves includes yours truly,her friend, her lil cousins aged 6 and 2, and the friend's brother.

this was a frustrated bunch of teenagers and toddlers.me and my friend were unhappy to be stuck with the others, and the others were unhappy to be stuck with us. the most frustrated being the brother. he was supposed to be hanging out with his friends at the mall, and we infants gave him a choice of babysitting us,or taking us all along with him.

now a sis hu can empty his pockets faster than he can say "yeh ho nahin sakta", that sis' friend who can convince her into buying things she doesn't need, a boy aged six who researches on how to vanish, and a baby girl whose wails can make you wish you were dead....now i guess any decent guy would rather drop dead than find himself in public with the bunch,rt?

we were all sitting and sulking, the friend with the sudoku, the brother with the tv, the girl, thankfully silent and me..er,just sulking.

suddenly the question pops up...(no,unlike in teenage feel good movies, i didnt have a crush on the brother, and that sulky afternoon he did not ask me out or anything...duh uh..see,if you go on assuming things how can i continue?? )

"where do babies come from??" quizzer is the 6 year old...question goes to the brother..now now, i dont know what goes on inside that boy's head, i'd rather dont..but the fact remains the question was popped and needed to be answered..i just thank god, (also wonder y) he didnt ask us the question...

i looked at the brother expectantly..the sudoku lay neglected and the sudoker was looking at her bro expectantly. i sensed worldly wisdom was going to be imparted and took the baby in my lap,facing the bro.

"umm..err...mummy's tummies??"

"duh uh i knew that! how did they get there in the first place?"

" uhm..well" he looked at me,and i suddenly became interested in my nails. he shrugged and set out for the task.
" its actually simple kiddo! see, boy,girl. boy meets girl, girl hates boy at first sight, boy falls head over peels,i mean heels over her, saves her from the villain,she falls h.o.h over him too."

"and?"
"and they get trapped in a house all alone on a rainy stormy night, and...."

my friend:and?
me: and?
the boy:and?
the baby:wee hu ee??(means and)
the bro:"and somewhere far away in a botanical garden two roses,or lilies meet, and thus my dear, babies are born!!"

my friend:"pshaw!"
me:"pshaw!"
the baby:"yee hi!" (means pshaw!)
the boy:"huh?"thats it??"
the bro: "that pretty much covers the essential details..i did leave out some insignificant stuff..but yup,thats it. zirmple!!!"

wordly wisdom was imparted.the sudoker went back to sudoku.the baby wailed.i sulked. the two men in the house, however,for some reason looked pleased with themselves.

men!!!

notes to self

1. never wear a saree and try to jump three steps at a time, and if the urge to do so is unavoidable, try not to be wearing heels which gives the impression that you are standing on a table, and if the urge is so so strong, then DO NOT try it at your college where your enemies, and worse, your friends are watching the scenario. better not to wear a saree at all.
2. use the word "healthy" instead of "fat".always.(i knew this already from a blogger who posted it on his orkut profile, but, ariyatha pilla choriyumbole ariyu".)
3. chemistry lab is not a nice place to hang out.
4. college canteen can be injurious to health.
5. "this will only take a minute" will always and always take more than an hour.
6. when someone says "do not message me" and blocks you over orkut and ignores your 2987th message, fat chance it means "i love ya!"
7. issac newton was evil. and so is gravity.
8. ceasing to blog is not categorised as public service.
9. "this is going to hurt just a little bit" means it is going to hurt a lot more than that.
10. blogging while you have an exam tomorrow is not gonna make figures look good on your progress card.
11. Finally, the ultimate truth, the one thing i knew deep down inside my heart but choose to ignore, something that is a solution to all my problems and is staring right at me, is a fictional concept.

do not wonder.don't even ask. i learn things the hard way.

she was sixteen,going on seventeen...

i turned twenty.

aah! i can purrfectly understand that horrible gasp!! those raised eyebrows!!! that popping of eyes!!(oh,thats the way they normally are? ahem..) my mistake people,i shouldn't have opened the post in such a bland way.i should have prepared you for the truth, i should have broken the news mildly. but the world, my dear fellows,is unfair,unjust. its a hard world....



so, i turned twenty...now,thats two-oh.not too old ,as some people were kind enough to point out. the horrible thing about being twenty is...oh, make that into plural, the horrible things about turning twenty are..read on.

so,are you twenty yet?? if you are then you will know the feeling. the whole thing about not being a teenager is a sad affair..till 11:59:59,on the day before my b'day,i was clutching on to the nineteen..(teen,mind you) status and then,time cruelly snatched away teen from me. yea, that ear piercing nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii .......was most probably mine, stop wondering.

men realise they have turned twenty when they get somewhere around fifty,they say..so i don't think they are now nodding their heads in agreement with my woes.but hey, if you do nod, no problem. it is good exercise too......
the fact that i was not a teenager anymore wasn't that scary. it's nice.you are a grown up. you get to do a lot of stuff you were too young to do at the time when you wanted to do it..like cooking, taking care of the house, taking decisions for youselves,getting involved in serious family matters,sharing responsibilities...
ok.now you get me.

the scariest part is i don't feel like i am twenty. i feel just the same, refusing to change.you will say,"what is the big deal?? you turn twenty,then tweny two, twenty four,...,thirty, forty...fifty..ah then you are back to being a kid again...it's fun!!!" you are not helping.so not helping.

but i haven't a time machine,nor lily potter's ability to stir up potions which will keep me 19 always..but it was fun,being a teenager.school was fun.it was fun to read everything with a teen tag to it(without the accompanying sigh nowadays).being old enough, that was teenage. the other day, i was visiting this friend's profile and saw that she was into the orkut teenage girls and guys community, and i was about to join, then..........sigh!!!

i was chatting with another little friend of mine,she is fifteen,(darn!) and during the course of the conversation i happened to say".....i am twenty, who was he kidding??" don't mind the context.the thing is..she laughed, until tears rolled down from her cheeks, and she ROTFL, patted me on the back and said " good one!! oh, you are funny......"

she thought it a joke me turning twenty. she will be mentioned in my will.

i hope as i grow on,..er...to being thirty and fifty and so on, i don't forget how it felt to be thirteen and nineteen and in between...right now, i might as well as drop the "why me" and get on with the life of not being a teen....


aw..but do i still have to cook??????