Tuesday, May 20, 2008

tortures which doesn't seem so...


At last!!!...me too in the world of blog..ahem.


I was constantly searching for a topic to write about..and know what..my life suddenly started taking some serious turns..i was too affected by them, that I thought I would never be able to put the experience into words….but then..VOILA!! someone else did that for me, and I am ever soo grateful to that guy, and the first entry in the blog dedicated to this guy!!!!




I became acquainted with him in the first year of my college..he just seemed ordinary then, a pain in the neck…didn’t give him a second thought then…




But now, my dear friend, you are my solace….wow!! how I underestimated your power of communication then!! I am soo sorry….forgive my ignorance, your genius wasn’t recognized until now…….well, by me that is..seems like everyone else knew right away you wer..a puli!!!



Ogden, I owe you big time!!!!!




I never took it seriously when he said “ some tortures are physical, and some are mental, but the one that is both is dental




Yeah, you guessed right..well, that is to say, if you guessed right, you are one of those humiliated souls, who has had the misfortune of lying down in a dentist’s chair..and when I mentioned this, could instantly remember the smell of something that horribly smells like something very horrible(I am at a loss of words here to explain that particular horrible smell)




And if u are one of those who thought..”dental? u mean something connected with ur teeth? What of it?” then you and I are probably not gonna understand each other, so just shut down this window, and go enjoy all those chicken legs and crisp chips and all those I am not allowed to even think of…chao!!



So, all those who are with me, lets continue…..




I will share with you some of my friend’s thoughts on this particular subject..before that,Ogden, I do completely empathise with you, and I am with you forever..please remember that!!



He did mention once, in the same conversation, “ so hard to retain you calm, when your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm…” ah!! I am sure, my dream hero, who I was destined to get married to, is no longer so, coz I must have completely changed my future,in just one sitting in that dentist’s chair…..palm readers, u just lost a customer, I doubt if ur powers are upto the mark to predict my future anymore…



No,no..against the dentist, I bear no grudge..well, ahem,anybody who is up for total honesty here? Then u may go straight to the exit door too…..i have sort of put my complete trust in this doc of mine, that I just can’t bring myself to curse him anymore…after two years,if my teeth goes from bad to worse…………then heaven help u doc!! But as for now..i will just acknowledge I have no grudge against you..



Even though it is entirely his fault that my mouth tastes like …….well, I am at a loss of words here too, to describe the taste..is it bitter? No. sour? Well, close.soury bitter?? Better. all those who take ayurvedic medicines, might be able to help me here…according to Ogden,my friend,the thing in my mouth is something generally used to put shine on a horse’s hoof..



Again, Ogden says…” some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs, others have things done to their gums…” how true how true…ahem, I have a feeling no one is actually understanding what exactly is being done to my teeth. Sorry. My mistake.i was carried away a little by those painful memories..lemme explain.



I was born with perfect eyes, perfect hands and legs, almost perfect skin, a very cute beauty spot on my cheek…everything was perfect..until, my teeth started showing their true colours.they were like..ahem.. a malayali queue.. you know, the ones we see at the government offices and bus stops??? Ah;) from that smile of recognition from your face, I know you are a malayali….



Well, now you know how my teeth was..my amma was too worried, probably because of the marriage issue. So soon after the doc announced that I am at that minimum age fit for putting braces, she took me to a dentist. Ah! How I remember the confused, perplexed, worried, what-am-i-going-to-do-with-you, heaven-help-me look on his face!!! I am sure he recognized right away that my teeth were a challenge, but still, examined me for over an hour..and because, and only because it was his means of living, he agreed to treat my teeth..



So began the first part of the journey, pain, humiliation, pain, blood, pain, horrible smells and tastes, pain, lengthy appointments, pain, hunger hours, pain…did I mention the whole thing was painful?



After a year, he gave up. Had to. But he did do something, I was kinda ok. My teeth now just looked like they need braces, the queue phase was over. They just needed a push here and there, I guess he made the work for his successor easy. This doctor after removing my braces, asked me to come back after six months, maybe then, he hoped some technology will be invented that wld make my teeth luk normal…tch tch..the guy overestimated the growth of technology it seems….



Ahem..its been six years from then..aw, come on…no one wld go bak to the dentist if given a choice, and I was just a victim of experiences!!



But now, a need arised, I had to put on braces,..again!!!my life ws getting happier, and I started d to laugh, and the teeth began to show..well, you get the idea!!!



So here I am, back to the dentist’s chair…no, not the same dentist, that would have been boring.i chose another dentist this time. Variety is the spice of life,right??



This doctor said, to my relief, that he will not try to extract any more teeth from my mouth..that was indeed a relief, I am not that cooperative during this certain process, it is a nightmare for my mother and the one who attempts to do that. But while I am writing this, I have been through some more sittings, and trust me, there are things that a dentist can do with that tools of his that would make the extraction of teeth seem comparitively entirely painless, and even a soothing, delightful experience!!



Ogden, back to you.you were right when you referred the whole process as “the most vicious circle that fate ever sentest”….and I remember your parting sentence…



man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition,when the chief reason he wants the teeth in good condition is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist”




Haa….Ogden Nash!!! The ninth chapter in my English poetry text started with ur poem’s title “this is going to hurt just a little bit”.. how I laughed at you, and cursed u, among many others the night before my tests….pardon me dear friend..ur words now sound too truthful, and is such a comfort for me in these troubled times..hail thy glory…



Okies..i just hope the ugly duckling story could be true these days too…but right now, I am too exhausted with painful memories and hunger..i am not allowed to eat what people normally eat, the doc made sure of that! But everything has a silver lining..my diet for some time will include a lot of liquid food, aaand….ICE CREAMS!!!! Will try all favours..i am open to suggestions, anything without nuts please..ppl!!



Okies dokies then…You people take care..and cya around!!

7 comments:

Jay!! said...

amazing pal.. uv realy got it in u.. superb way of expressin wot u need to.. a nice yet simple sense of humour.. simply amazing.. im very much impressed with this work.. and i have a hunch about tht guy u wer referrin to in the beginnin..:P ;).. hope he has read this.. hehe.. smart eh?
keep writing here buddy... and lets hope tht u wil one day be able to realise ur dream to be a .......

Luv,
a faceless stranger!

Anand MS said...

the worst for me was when the dentist put on that plastic thingy in my mouth, meant to keep it open while the adhesive sets.

the others in the room- an old man, a kid and the kid's mom- were smiling 'back' at me. and poor helpless me wanting to yell back, "to hell with you all, i am NOT grinning at you!!" though the best i could manage was "gnn gghh gnnn...."

Dreamer said...

dat was a gr8 one gurly..!!so kool...jus luvd t...but m not surprised wid ur work...ya olwas d best!!

write loads more...
luv ya loads bloggy gal...
mwah!!:)
kadija..

Unknown said...

twas nthng unexpected... being friends for nearly a decade,i knew u've such skills within u.its really amazing d way u see things.this is a typical roshny creation..having all d charecteristics:ur wonderful sense f humour,furiousness,observance,creativity etc etc.hmm but why didn u abtme?u wouldnt ve rediscovered ogden n d fate f ur teeth unless it was for me .nn ur sis too
anyways keep writing.u ver less rhymy dis tym ,compensate it in next .
luv,kisses n prayers....
sree

chef mithu said...

tat was a good one mate!!

nice language..

simple but powerful!!

rock on!!

we expct more from u!!

Binsy said...

Hey..I luvd readin tht..im goin 2 b a regular 2 ur blogz frm now on..so keep postin more...

DPhatsez said...

Having a younger bro who had to endure years of torture at the hands of various dentists, i know how it SUCKS.

Belated and ironic though this may be, welcome to the Blogosphere.

"Go hang yourself, you old M.D,!
You shall not sneer at me." Ogden Nash